GodMakesMyDreamsComeTrue.....: To sow with tears and reap with joy....

GodMakesMyDreamsComeTrue.....

Saturday, November 20, 2004

To sow with tears and reap with joy....

Today's message spoke to me... " TO be double minded is when u delay in building the house of GOd and is distracted with building your own house", like what Pastor mentioned, i felt discouraged, that as much as i want to see God's kingdom built, as i look at the lives in the SZ, i just felt that the SZ is not a vessel ready to serve GOd. That many are still concerned about their own live, own agendas, that many are not willing to lay their rights down, to walk the narrow path of obedience. WHy would God allow pple to come into the SZ, if the SZ is not cleaned up, is not lovin Him, wun the new believers follow the wrong ways. I thank GOd for the lives that have returned to Him... and i want to believe for more, I want to believe that it is still possible for every live, every person to return to GOd.

It feels terrible that you can't do anything to control pple's decisions to choose GOd... It feels terrible to see pple not knowing GOd as He is and surrendering their all to HIM. i really hope i could do more... i really hope i can touch their lives more.. i really hope i can do som much so much more... but i am limited. But i know God is unlimited. I knoe He loves each one of them. I pray that they like the prodigal son, will make a decision to turn back to the father.. 'cos like the father of the prodigal son, GOd loves us so much such that He gave us free will to choose.. and it's only when the son decides to turn back, when the son takes that step back to the Father that the Father ran to the son and embrace him. SOmetimes, "it takes love to even Let Go" and for this season this is the relevation that GOd has given me.

I cried as i tok to the subzone... i really dun like to cry, 'cos i dun wan pple to take pity on me or be moved by my tears, but i want the conviction of the HOly Spirit... I dun hope that the pple will think i am using my tears to "blackmail" them.. but i jus wan them to get things right with God, i jus want them to know how God feels. But i cried 'cos i felt helpless... i cried 'cos i know GOd is upset too and that He like the Father of the prodigal Son is waiting for all His children to turn back to HIm.

I made a stand... for them to decide, though part of me is afraid that they will choose to leave, I want to let go, cos i love them.. and after they have struggled enough and wana return, i hope that i can welcome them back..

Spoke to the leaders... it's back to the basics:
to serve you got have the basic requirements-
Faithfulness/faith
Availability
Submissiveness
Teachability.
I gave em a choice, to follow singlemindedly to serve or to not serve. I wana trust in GOd's providence... that even of all of em choose not to serve, " as for me and my household, we will serve the LOrd. God i will still serve you.. even if i may not feel the best, even when all thinks fail, even when i feel inadquate, i will serve. 'cos you chose me and you said" If you love me, feed my lamb, take care of my sheep and feed my sheep". even if there are no leaders who will follow, i know that GOd you will provide.

Just like you LOrd, i hope to see a generation who will not compromise, who are singleminded for you, who are steadfast in their love for you. WHo love you and love the people around, who are not inward. Lord, i commit all of us into ur hands.. : ) GOd, there's ust so much to say... but you know all that i wan to tell you... Speak GOd, move GOD!!!Sustain me Lord! Thank you Lord. : )

posted by raethelamb @ 6:12 AM

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